


Don't Shut Me Out

by undeniablycandycane



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Esteem, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:13:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25299682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undeniablycandycane/pseuds/undeniablycandycane
Summary: A session of comfort for an ailing westerner is long overdue.
Relationships: Jedediah & Octavius (Night at the Museum), Jedediah/Octavius (Night at the Museum)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	Don't Shut Me Out

**Author's Note:**

> Warning before continuing: Although not really graphic, one of the main themes of this work is self-harm and depression, and it is referenced a number of times, as well as a brief mention of self-inflicted death. If you in any way feel like this might trigger/upset/otherwise provoke you, please, do click away and find something else to read. There are plenty of fics out there 💖 please take care of yourself!
> 
> I wrote this originally to just let out some stress and give myself some comfort, but I realized (a) I was almost finished by the time I quit writing and (b) other people could probably benefit from the hurt/comfort trope during this time. Just a little something I drummed up, you know, and figured as long as it's not doing anyone any harm I could post it. I'm probably not going to continue it unless people really like it & it goes over well. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and feel free to step back anytime.

Fall was settling in to the New York air, and the chill was something the miniatures were finally getting used to- the changing of seasons felt natural again after being free to roam for so many years. Yet something peculiar whispered through the wind and leaves, almost like a cry for help, so with the departure of summer came a haunting feeling, especially for Octavius. 

His routine was now less so about his responsibilities as a general and leader, and more so about keeping an eye on Jedediah and his strange new behaviors. Rather than being with Oct every minute, he'd too often leave without a word, leaving Octavius to wonder what he did wrong. This was especially so because they not more than a month ago started dating, and had always stayed by each other's side long before then. But his fears of rejection prevented Oct from ever really talking to Jed about it. He had hoped his boyfriend would just bring it up to him and be honest. Soon, though, it became clear that he had to interfere, as frightening as it was for him to face. 

He had searched all evening for him. He wasn't in any of their usual places. But he quietly happened upon Jedediah, who was sitting at the edge of one of the back steps of the loading dock. It took several moments of internal pep talks and paces back and forth for him to wander closer to his lover. Now audible was- was he crying? He wondered. A moment of listening confirmed it. 

Jed was bawling, stifling his cries so no one could hear, but heavily crying nonetheless. 

"Jedediah-" Octavius called out softly.

"Octavius?" Jed appeared to throw something down, and rolled up his sleeve. "What the hell are you doin' here?"

"I just- I mean I-" Octavius choked. "I wanted to talk."

"I'm sorry Ockie, I wanna be alone right now," he yelled, quaking.

Octavius' eyes widened. "Why are you holding your arm like that? Are you hurt?"

"Just leave me alone!"

Octavius' muscles tensed, and he assumed a more authoritative position. He stated firmly, "I cannot. I care about you. Deeply." He softened, tears welling in his eyes. "Jedediah, please," he begged solemnly.

silence. 

Octavius slowly came and sat by Jed, taking off his helmet to provide a sense of vulnerability. He only sat quietly, Jed retaining pressure on his own arm. Jed slowly removed his hand from his wrist, and looked down at the autumn leaves below him.

Oct looked over at Jed's bloodied sleeve. And it dawned on him.

He deeply whispered. "Did you… did you do this to yourself?"

Jed bit his lip, his breath shaking, sniffling. He pulled back his arm, but felt a warm, gentle hand on his wrist.

"Why…" Octavius gasped, trembling. "You weren't…" his voice cracked. "Trying to end your life?" Octavius looked like his soul was sapped out of his body. His abilities to dull his emotions during times of crisis were threatened by the notion.

"No!" Jed squeaked. He grew coarse, but gave himself a moment to recollect himself. "No Octavius. I-I swear."

Tavius sighed, greatly relieved. "Then… why would you do that to yourself.."

Jed looked Octavius in the eyes. His face was as red as a tomato, his cheeks spalshed with tears. 

"You wouldn't understand. Stop asking me so many questions." Jed simply tossed Oct's concerns aside in a sulking fashion.

Octavius' breath shook, and he clenched his teeth, his voice deepening in anger. "I ask questions because I care about you more than anyone else in the world Jedediah. I'm not here to pass judgment... I'm only here because you've pushed me away." Oct's tears glistened on his cheeks, reflecting the moonlight. He sniffled while he talked.  
"Don't shut me out. It hurts… more than anything. I love you no matter what."

"I love you too."

"Then why do you do this to me? To us?" He asked earnestly.

"... I didn't want you to see me like this," he somberly looked away from Octavius. "I got demons, Ockie, things you ain't even known."

Octavius had a lump in his throat. He could feel it growing, the closer the words felt to his tongue. 

"Is this… because of me?" He croaked, clenching his fists.

Jedediah started crying again, shouting. "No, no, no, Ockie, it ain't ever your fault!!!! Don't you ever fuckin' think this shit is your fault!!!! I been.." he quietened down to show his sincerity. "It's been like this since way 'fore you came along. I'm thankful you came around when ya did. I'd be lost without ya." He grabbed Oct's arm with his shaky hand.

"..I only ask this out of care and concern for you," Octavius mentioned, noting that Jed was probably afraid of being judged. "But why did you cut your wrist?"

".... Well, I just… I dunno, I know it's kinda freaky but I…." He grunts. "It feels... good… When I'm hurtin' on the inside, too much, it kinda sucks that pain away… brings it out physical... and.." He sniffled. "I feel like I'm in control o' things. Sorta…"

"Why are you hurting?" Octavius scooted closer to Jed, and rubbed his thumb softly over Jed's wrist.

"It's complicated," he breathed. "Sometimes there's a reason. And then sometimes it just… happens. He stretched his legs out. "I been going through these feelin's for years. I ain't ever let anybody know. At least, not really. I'm supposed to be the strong one, but I ain't."

"You have always been strong. You and I have both endured such horrors within our lifetimes, it's impossible for either of us not to be… experiencing some form of trauma, or ailment..."

"It ain't about trauma Tavius. I just. I go through this every day. There's always a part of me that's gonna feel inferior. 'Specially…. since I'm small. Just… tiny. Insignificant."

Octavius turned to face him better and listened intently.

"I feel that.." he quivered, " I ain't even half good enough for someone like you. Just look at how broken I am, I ain't even important, I just act like it. A fucking idiot. You'd be better off with that bastard Lance." He broke down, fully wailing. Octavius had never, ever, ever heard Jed cry this hard. He'd never imagined it was possible. Still he didn't see any less of him. He only saw now just how much pain he felt, and had been feeling. He was sure there was some pain underneath the cowboy's carefree surface, but he never knew just the extent.

"Jedediah!" Octavius barked. "How dare you say such horrible things?! By Jupiter's strength, you're the most incredible person I have ever met! The knight cannot hold a candle to you- Amare, words cannot describe how breathtaking you are!!!"

Octavius sat in front of Jed, kneeling with knees on either side of Jed's legs. He sat there for a moment, then grasped him tightly, his fingers pressing into Jed's tear-stained sleeves and planted a firm kiss onto the surprised cowboy's cheek, his tears kissing where his lips didn't touch. 

"I have expressed before, with truthfulness, my love, I only made those comments about Lance to get your attention. I'm so sorry I wasn't straightforward with you. I didn't know my lack of honesty could harm you this way. I could never have asked for a better partner. You are my soulmate. My everything! I cannot live without you!" He cried, holding Jedediah by the shoulders with a firm grip. "I forever thank the gods that we are together, deliciae." 

Jed, looking downward, brushed his fluffy hair back behind his ear, his watery blue eyes harboring tiny reflections of the moon. The corner of his lip tilted upward.

"I can only hope that my sentiments have not only touched your heart, but made glorious love to it."

Jed chuckled. "What is with you and your weird Roman sayings? Hell I don't think that's even Roman, that's just you!"

"I have found your beautiful smile. I feel accomplished." He pecked Jed behind the ear. "I would conquer the world to ensure your happiness. You never have to fight alone. I will always be with you. Your burdens are mine as well, and more. But please… I beg of you… never hide this from me. Don't shy away from me. I love you, with all my heart." He held Jed's head in his hands, and kissed his forehead softly.

"I love you more than anything Ockie. I just didn't want you to have to deal with all this and I was just…'fraid of what you'd think of me… think I was a loon... Oh Tavius-"

Octavius's lips had traveled from his forehead now to his neck, and was planting smooches all around, his hand running through Jed's blond hair. His other hand was around his waist, petting his back.

"Let us go somewhere warmer. Perhaps I shall help you treat your wound," he suggested. 

Jed's warm tear fell into Octavius's hair. "Sounds good…"

______________________

Octavius had taken Jed to his private quarters, which he had rarely done thus far, but it was definitely warranted. He pulled out a metal container full of liquid and put some on his hand.

"This will sting. But…" He wrapped his fingers around Jed's, his lips mere 'inches' away from his boyfriend's. "You can hold my hand."

As Octavius applied the liquid, Jed seethed, clenching his gloved fingers tightly in Oct's hand. Oct set the liquid down and pulled out a cloth, and another container full of some kind of salve. 

They were silent as Octavius applied the salve. Jed leaned into his warm body while he wrapped the wound. After the wound was dressed, Octavius held it, thumbing it, and planting a gentle kiss on his arm.

"I will be here for you all night. And all tomorrow night. However long you need me, I will. How are you feeling? You can be honest."

"I'm feeling better. Thanks babe."

"I'm going to go get something for you. I will be back in a moment if you will be alright?"

"Sure, I'm fine." Jed dabbed his face with his bandana.

Octavius released Jed, leaving him a temporary-goodbye peck on the cheek. and left the room. He came back with a tray of wine, bread and what smelled like delicious apple pie.

"Glad to hear you're usin' Clive's recipe. He'll be happy to hear that."

"I baked it earlier for us. It certainly is superior to my flimsy attempt at tarts." He sat the tray on the bed, sitting next to Jedediah.

"Don't sell yourself short, those weren't too bad, I ate at least two of 'em."

"Aww…." He handed the bread and a glass of wine to Jedediah. " After this, I have a surprise for you later on tonight.

"Like what?"

Octavius leaned closer to Jedediah, wrapping his arm around his body and staring in his eyes. "I want to show you just how very much I love you," he whispered passionately, kissing him on the lips. "How much you matter to me. I want you to never forget." 

Jed leaned into the kiss, grabbing Octavius's other hand. Soon, Octavius found himself being held down onto the bed, Jed's tear splashing onto his cheek. 

"Oh, Jedediah," Oct smiled lovingly, stroking Jed's arm, his metal plated arm bands brushing up against the fabric of the shirt. He was getting choked up, feeling Jedediah's hands run through his hair. His short breaths were taken away when Jed leaned in and began making out with him again, their cheeks patched red and glistening. They just held each other as Jed continued to lock lips with his now entranced boyfriend.

"Thank you… Octavius. For everything. I don't feel so bad anymore."

Octavius breathed blissfully. "It will take time for you to get better. I'm glad you're okay. I do not want you to hurt yourself, amare. I care far too much about you. My love.."

"God, you're makin' me feel things."

"Good things, I hope?" Oct pressed worriedly.

He closed his eyes and rested on Octavius's chest, one hand on his shoulder, with the other arm splayed out beyond his love's head.

"Good things."

**Author's Note:**

> Important notes, please read:
> 
> I do not endorse self-mutilation or other forms of self harm. It is very harmful, addicting, and dangerous. If you are struggling with these issues, I do not judge you, and I offer my love to you. You're not a bad person. Please take care 💖 and I hope what I've written gives you a sense of caring and comfort.
> 
> If you're struggling with self-harm/depression, please don't take this as any sort of validation to rely heavily on romantic partners, or one person alone. It can be very harmful. And if you're struggling with these issues, please be mindful that entering a relationship is NOT a cure or treatment for mental illness. You do not need to be dating someone to feel whole. My advice to you is: look for support groups, spend time with your friends, and cut toxic people out of your life if you can.
> 
> This is purely a work of fiction, and though I believe I have enough knowledge about the subject to write some about it, people are different and no two cases are the exact same. 
> 
> I hope I've covered everything. Please let me know if you think something else needs to be said! I just wanted to provide some comfort for our struggling cowboy and remind him he isn't alone 💖


End file.
